That’s
it!!!!!
Happy
New Year everyone! Phew...2012 is
history and 2013 is present; a gift!
Aha
moments...they come at the funniest of times, don’t they?! But when they come...do we always recognize
them? Do we stop to really contemplate
them or do we simply say, “hmm interesting” and dismiss them?
During
one of my regular morning activities, and as I was reflecting on 2012 – looking
into what 2013 might bring, I could almost see the glow of the light bulb that
had suddenly illuminated intensely above my head.
HELP ~ asking for,
accepting and/or giving ~ Help!
Every
experience we go through is a learning opportunity. The more challenging the journey seems; the
greater the growth will be. And the truth is...sometimes – whether we are giving
or receiving; the act of help is essential.
Definition of help:
1.
To
give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need;
contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively
2.
To
save; rescue; succor: as in Help me, I’m falling 3. To make easier or less difficult; contribute to; facilitate
4. To be useful or profitable to
5. To refrain from; avoid (usually preceded by can or cannot)
Don’t just ‘skim’ this
definition...read it. Look at the words
and consider their meanings. Help is not
about pushing your agenda or forcing a reaction but being gentle, providing aid
or recognizing when you can’t.
Lovingly
and very respectfully, I say I grew up in a functionally, dysfunctional family
like so many others. My childhood was a
montage of excitement and disappointment.
At 15 I was raped; but that’s a story for another day. The point is, in surviving the rape – I
learned a lot about myself and others.
The two main things I learned and have carried with me for many years
are these: First, I’m a survivor.
Second, the only person I can ever count on is...me.
This
may sound harsh, detached and cynical but they are lessons I’ve come to find
comfort in. These attributes have become
my strengths on many levels of my life’s journey. A small example of how I implement them; do
you ever become so nervous about something that you self sabotage and/or lose
out on an opportunity? When I find
myself in that situation...I can pull from my ‘survivor’ and ‘count on me’
skills to get myself through the nervousness so I can experience the
opportunity that awaits me. These
skills...have seen my zip line, cross bridges, meet new people, speak to
people, return to school, face my rapist, walk 111km across Spain, fall in
love, become a mother and grow every day of my life. Over the years, I have changed how I use these
skills but...they are ingrained in every cell of who I am and how I interact
with others. They give me courage and continue to inspire
me to move forward confidently and compassionately.
As
many of you know, 2012 was a HUGE year for me with MANY changes. What is so interesting is...that while I am
alone now, my life purpose seems larger and clearer. I’ve spent months wondering ‘how will I get
through this’, ‘what am I going to do’, and I start to worry and become
scared. The truth is....I have no idea
what lies ahead but I do know, I don’t have to do this alone. I’ve so many compassionate people in my life,
on so many levels; people who lovingly share their strengths with others and
without condition or an expectation of ‘you owe me’. It truly is a “pay it forward” life style they
strive to live; which compliments me; my hopes, my dreams, my ideals,
philosophy....my life and life style.
Every
day, I receive a message in some form or another from a least one person that
is powerful, yet simple; such as, “Thinking of you.” By them sending such a simple message, they
are helping me get through that moment. By
receiving and accepting their message I am inspired to look forward, keep my
faith, keep my hope, and maintain my courage to stand confident in my truth.
Asking
for and accepting help is not a weakness but rather a strength. We do it every day and most often don’t recognize
it. When we ask the person across the
table, ‘pass me the pepper, please’, we’ve asked for help. When someone steps aside to allow us in,
we’ve accepted help. When we’re lost and
we need direction...we need help getting our bearing back and that’s ok. Sometimes what ‘survivors’ and ‘count on me’
people need to notice is...when the impact is goes beyond ‘me’, asking for and
accepting help is an even more beautiful gift.
If we are the one’s offering help....it is VERY important that we first
ask ‘may I help you’, ‘how may I help’.
You may find that you can’t help or that’s not how you want to
help. Recognizing that and then choosing
not to help may be the best help you can give.
For
me, on many levels, Help will be my joie de vivre in 2013.
Wishing
2013 gently showers you with abundant gifts of love, health, peace and....
help!
Love
and laughter... Carleana
