I have not become lax in my Camino, and I have been writing my blogs. However, several things might suggest differently so....I’m taking this time to check in.
First, as I mentioned I have been writing my blogs and until this morning, I thought I had posted them. Clearly, somewhere in the process, I’ve not completed a step. The next couple of days will be busier but I will endeavour to ensure those posts are updated.
The second thing that has taken my attention is the matter of my divorce. OMgoodness....I can’t believe this!!!!! Never in a million years would I have ever imagined I’d go through what I’m going through....I know I’ve said this before....and not for a second did I think I was immune to the possibility; I was simply naïve enough to think we were a little more mature than all this drama and BS.
I am so tired and, in truth...I’m pissed off, (sorry for the language) but I am dumb founded by the attitudes, behaviours and the system. I have conceded to ‘consider’ waiving certain issues; in the spirit of resolving this quickly and too...on numerous occasions I’ve accepted offers that left me and my children at an extreme disadvantage financially. I’m done. I’ve reached the point where I’m accepting the minimum of what the law states we are entitled to and...you guessed it...even that has been an issue with the EH - estranged husband. Whatever...he and I had a traditional marriage, WE worked together to acquire what we have...no one of us did it all on our lonesome – and certainly not ‘the big guy’....and together we had three amazing children. Just because he said “I don’t want to be responsible anymore” doesn’t mean he has the right to deny our children or me what we are entitled to; but an honourable person wouldn’t need to have the law involved to ensure what was right, was what was being done. Again....whatever!
Newton’s third law of relativity....for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I’ve no idea how or when this will finally be resolved and...when the “reaction” comes knocking at the EH’s door....I hope the universe shows more kindness to him then has been shown to us.
Which brings me back to the Boar....being an animal most don’t really give much thought to except at our breakfast; bacon....its spirit is actually quick ingenious. On a day where I was feeling somewhat defeated and completely at a loss of what to do next...I pulled a card from my deck “Messages From Your Animal Spirit Guides” oracle cards; the Boar.
“Face your problems head-on with confidence and courage, and you will emerge victorious.”
What a powerful message to read. Associated words such as: Courage; Self-Reliance; Protection; Security; Tenacity; Determination; Hospitality; Balance....
When considering conflict – especially relating to affairs of the heart – and hoping to overcome them so all may maintain dignity....these are empowering and inspiring words. I’m speaking to the conflict and not the individuals or the situation. The situation...is what it is...when individuals make the situation about power and control over another, using vindictiveness and revenge against the other; managing the matter ceases to be about the situation but rather...it become about the conflict. And for no other reason than for EGO....money is wasted, time is dishonoured and worse....people are devalued.
The Boar’s message to me was reassuring. I will continue to do as I feel is just. I will continue to pause, take a deep breath or two, and look at what is happening around me to ensure my actions remain in alignment with my spirit and soul.
I love life....and I want to live it to its fullest. And...like the Boar...that means sometimes my feet will get muddy. I guess what’s important for us all to remember is...mud washes away; it even dries up and falls off. Sometimes...muddy feet put things back into perspective and...sometimes...mud squishing between the toes feels good. There are people who pay a ton of money for “Mud Cleansing” too. The point is....muddy feet is no reason to panic, cause drama or even escalate a situation into a crisis.
In honour of the Boar – at least for today – I will not eat my bacon or....any pork product.
Today, tomorrow and for always....believe in yourself and...have the courage to stand in your truth with confidence and compassion.